I was thinking... words sometimes mean so little when not written carefully.
I said earlier that my business is the most important thing to me, but it's not just that, it actually is "ME". My art, I am so tied up into it emotionally that it's impossible to separate.
I believe myself to be a man who measures himself by what he has achieved that has a personal value. If I fail on this new venture, which is the most noble venture I am able to perform, it will really take a huge chunk out of my soul. I NEED to believe that this will work and I need to spread truth, knowledge, joy, and happiness through my art. It's what I must do.
If not, I will leave, to live with nature, and will no longer function as part of society. This is how deep my passion and determination goes. If I can not give something back to the chaos that we live in, help people have some joy and find their truth, and perhaps a way out of there, I don't want to have any part of it.
Each time the business goes south, I feel powerless, and am really unhappy until something turns around. That special something. I have been looking for it for ages, it's called our own personal happiness, each person's solution is as individual as their life history.
