Power of Slow

Yes, I think slow is the key. I was reading "The Power of Now"
last night, and kept thinking about you and how you would really
love this book. Here's an excerpt:

"through the "isness" of all things a deeper dimension reveals
itself to you, and unchanging deep stillness, an uncaused joy
between good and bad. This is the joy of being, the peace of
God."

It's an essay in the beginning that goes into a book of questions
about the topics, addressing a lot of tough situations that might
arise and make it difficult to accept life for what it is.

Anyhow, I'm finding it very revealing, and would love to share it
with you.

obsessive

The boys came by last night, and we had an evening filled with negative energy, gossip, and obsessive talk about sex.

written carefully

I was thinking... words sometimes mean so little when not written carefully.

I said earlier that my business is the most important thing to me, but it's not just that, it actually is "ME". My art, I am so tied up into it emotionally that it's impossible to separate.

I believe myself to be a man who measures himself by what he has achieved that has a personal value. If I fail on this new venture, which is the most noble venture I am able to perform, it will really take a huge chunk out of my soul. I NEED to believe that this will work and I need to spread truth, knowledge, joy, and happiness through my art. It's what I must do.

If not, I will leave, to live with nature, and will no longer function as part of society. This is how deep my passion and determination goes. If I can not give something back to the chaos that we live in, help people have some joy and find their truth, and perhaps a way out of there, I don't want to have any part of it.

Each time the business goes south, I feel powerless, and am really unhappy until something turns around. That special something. I have been looking for it for ages, it's called our own personal happiness, each person's solution is as individual as their life history.

much, much better

Very nice to get back to the happy place between us. Let's pray we can keep life running smooth for a little while.

I know I am a stress case right now, and I acknowledge everything you said yesterday about my moods and how related they are to my business success. Yes, it's true, because my business is the most important thing in my life, until that fateful day soon when debts are lowered, sites are built, and there's a small income coming off the top reliably.

After I reduce my costs, I should be much, much better. But, it's killing me right now, from the inside out, I should have expected it. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, and I am just riding my way out of it.

Love is the Drug

Stitched up tight, can't shake free
Love is the drug, got a hook on me
Oh oh catch that buzz
Love is the drug I'm thinking of
Oh oh can't you see
Love is the drug for me

thank you for stopping by tonight to clarify our relationship once more.
I love discussing these important matters with you. I am growing closer to you like never before, but I must learn ‘constraint’.

invigorated

Nice to see you, woman. I felt invigorated after seeing you, and spending time opening up again.

Justify

Thanks for the hug. You know, to be honest, I am not too interested in discussing those emails much. What is there to say? Are you going to defend yourself against what I have said? Justify yourself?

What was in those emails was said because it was in my heart, and that's how our relationship made me feel. I don't want to feel those things. I am sorry if that hurt you. I have come to think that the way you like to communicate is bluntly and openly, rather than delicately, and intuitively, so I am giving that a try.

And.. I'm just not sure I want to be involved in any emotional situations with you right now, I do not have the willpower to fight the emotions that drive me towards you. If you want to send me a letter, please do, though, I will read it well, with pleasure.