Another

If you're only looking for another piece of ass, I'm sure it won't be hard to find. But if your searching for something much more meaningful & substantial - it must take time, energy & patience.

Breathe

2 AM and she calls me 'cause I'm still awake,
Can you help me unravel my latest mistake,
I don't love him, winter just wasn't my season
Yeah we walk through the doors, so accusing their eyes
Like they have any right at all to criticize,
Hypocrites, you're all here for the very same reason

'Cause you can't jump the track,we're like cars on a cable
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button girl,
So cradle your head in your hands
And breathe, just breathe,
Woah breathe, just breathe

May he turn 21 on the base at Fort Bliss
Just a day, he sat down to the flask in his fist,
Ain't been sober, since maybe October of last year.
Here in town you can tell he's been down for a while,
But my God it's so beautiful when the boy smiles,
Wanna hold him, maybe I'll just sing about it.

Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table.
No one can find the rewind button boys,
So cradle your head in your hands,
And breathe, just breathe,
Woah breathe, just breathe

There's a light at each end of this tunnel, you shout
'Cause you're just as far in as you'll ever be out
These mistakes you've made, you'll just make them again
If you only try turning around.

2 AM and I'm still awake, writing a song
If I get it all down on paper, its no longer
Inside of me, threatening the life it belongs to
And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd
Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud
And I know that you'll use them, however you want to

Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button now
Sing it if you understand.
And breathe, just breathe
Woah breathe, just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe.


lyrics by --- Anna Nalick

Necessity

Thousands of tired, nerve-shaken, over-civilized people are beginning to find out that going to the mountain is going home; that wildness is necessity; that mountain parks and reservations are useful not only as fountains of timber and irrigating rivers, but as fountains of life.

--- John Muir

My Friend

You've known so long that you were wrong
But still you had your way
You told her lies and alibis
And hurt her more each day
But now your conscience bothers you
You've reached your journey's end
You're asking me for sympathy
I'm Sorry For You, My Friend.

You laughed inside each time she cried
You tried to make her blue
She tagged along through right and wrong
Because she worshipped you
You know that you're the one to blame
There's no use to pretend
Today's the day you start to pay
I'm Sorry For You, My Friend.

Today as she walked arm in arm
At someone else's side
It made you stop and realize
That time has turned the tide
You should have known you'd be alone
'Cause cheaters never win
You tried and lost, now pay the cost
I'm Sorry For You, My Friend.


lyrics by --- Hank Williams

What Difference

All men have secrets and here is mine
So let it be known
For we have been through hell and high tide
I think I can rely on you ...
And yet you start to recoil
Heavy words are so lightly thrown
But still I'd leap in front of a flying bullet for you

So, what difference does it make?
So, what difference does it make?
It makes none
But now you have gone
And you must be looking very old tonight

The devil will find work for idle hands to do
I stole and I lied, and why?
Because you asked me to!
But now you make me feel so ashamed
Because I've only got two hands
Well, I'm still fond of you, oh-ho-oh

So, what difference does it make?
Oh, what difference does it make?
Oh, it makes none
But now you have gone
And your prejudice won't keep you warm tonight

Oh, the devil will find work for idle hands to do
I stole, and then I lied
Just because you asked me to
But now you know the truth about me
You won't see me anymore
Well, I'm still fond of you, oh-ho-oh

But no more apologies
No more, no more apologies
Oh, I'm too tired
I'm so sick and tired
And I'm feeling very sick and ill today
But I'm still fond of you, oh-ho-oh

Oh, my sacred one ...


lyrics by -- The Smiths

Hands Up

I know you think that I shouldn't still love you
I'll tell you that
But if I didn't say it
Well, I'd still have felt it
Where's the sense in that?

I promise I'm not trying to make your life harder
Or return to where we were

Well I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

I know I left too much mess
And destruction to come back again
And I caused but nothing but trouble
I understand if you can't talk to me again
And if you live by the rules of "It's over"
Then I'm sure that that makes sense

Well I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

And when we meet
As I'm sure we will
All that was then
Will be there still
I'll let it pass
And hold my tongue
And you will think
That I've moved on

Well I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be


lyrics by --- Dido

Dance

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder
You get your fill to eat
But always keep that hunger
May you never take one single breath for granted
God forbid love ever leave you empty handed
I hope you still feel small
When you stand by the ocean
Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens
Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance
I hope you dance

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Living might mean taking chances
But they're worth taking
Lovin' might be a mistake
But it's worth making
Don't let some hell bent heart
Leave you bitter
When you come close to selling out
Reconsider
Give the heavens above
More than just a passing glance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance
(Time is a real and constant motion always)
I hope you dance
(Rolling us along)
I hope you dance
(Tell me who)
I hope you dance
(Wants to look back on their youth and wonder)
(Where those years have gone)

I hope you still feel small
When you stand by the ocean
Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens
Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
Dance
I hope you dance
I hope you dance
(Time is a real and constant motion always)
I hope you dance
(Rolling us along)
I hope you dance
(Tell me who)
(Wants to look back on their youth and wonder)
I hope you dance
(Where those years have gone)


lyrics by -- Lee Ann Womack

Full Moon

Quatal Canyon in the moonlight. The full moon rising over the mountains cast the blue light across the hard packed desert wash. An easy walk with a slight breeze & perfect temperatures. I love night hikes.

Quite a beautiful night tonight, even with the eerie owl cries.

These are the moments I live for.

Remove All

Ask if I must remove each & every photo of HIS face from all my photo albums & web pages. If so, that will take a few months to find them all. My computer career spans 18 years, my web site a full decade with 3000 trips logged. 5000 pages & 30,000 images. I am a busy girl ya know?

BIG SILLY CRY BABY......
Not having a good summer with your new business & fat queen?

I've been involved with some pansy guys in my life time, but this one the absolute worst. Someone please make him go away.

Relaunch

My poison poems & bitter thoughts are ongoing, while I live my ultimate dream life. Both hot & cold, up & down, on & off, boring & adventurous, passionate or dull, this bitter sweet dream is also my biggest nightmare. The backyard wildflower oasis is nearly complete; my shag carpet is laid & the love den is coming together; my AWD Saabaru is my best ride, yet I have the reason to write it all. To talk, communicate, to convey my messages. Those who will listen are few.

People still choose to read this blog, fans are even asking for it (months later) so I will make this blog live again.

Out in the Moonlight

I go out walking after midnight
Out in the moonlight just like we used to do
I'm always walking after midnight searching for you

I walk for miles along the highway
Well that's just my way of saying I love you
I'm always walking after midnight searching for you

I stopped to see a weeping willow
Crying on his pillow maybe he's crying for me
And as the skies turn gloomy
Night blooms will whisper to me I'm lonesome as I can be

I go out walking after midnight out in the moonlight
Just hoping maybe you're somewhere walking after midnight
searching for me

I stopped to see a weeping willow
Crying on his pillow maybe he's crying for me
And as the skies turn gloomy
Night blooms will whisper to me I'm lonesome as I can be

I'm out walking after midnight out in the moonlight
Just hoping maybe you're somewhere walking after midnight
searching for me

Raised to the Level

“Men's minds are raised to the level of the women with whom they associate” --- Alexandre Dumas Père

Miss the Most

“Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most” --- Mark Twain

Foot Progress

This past holiday weekend in the Sequoia was gorgeous. We camped on the High Sierra backroads between Sequoia & Kings Cyn NPs. No bears, no crowds & no music. Perfectly relaxing time was had by all.

We were all able to do the CRYSTAL CAVE granny tour, the last day on our departure. Much easier than the 'Wild Cave' spelunking tour I took last time. Hiked about 12-15 miles total over the 3 days & my foot injury is healing up fine. Now for the reconditioning process. Summer is almost over & my foot feels good enough to pick up my regular hiking schedule ; )

heart and soul

“I put my heart and my soul into my work, and have lost my mind in the process.” --- Vincent van Gogh

Pretend Again

coin operated boy
sitting on the shelf he is just a toy
but i turn him on and he comes to life
automatic joy
that is why i want a coin operated boy

made of plastic and elastic
he is rugged and long-lasting
who could ever ever ask for more
love without complications galore
many shapes and weights to choose from
i will never leave my bedroom
i will never cry at night again
wrap my arms around him and pretend....

coin operated boy
all the other real ones that i destroy
cannot hold a candle to my new boy and i'll
never let him go and i'll never be alone
not with my coin operated boy......

this bridge was written to make you feel smittener
with my sad picture of girl getting bitterer
can you extract me from my plastic fantasy
i didnt think so but im still convinceable
will you persist even after i bet you
a billion dollars that i'll never love you
will you persist even after i kiss you
goodbye for the last time
will you keep on trying to prove it?
i'm dying to lose it...
i want it
i want you
i want a coin operated boy.

and if i had a star to wish on
for my life i cant imagine
any flesh and blood could be his match
i can even take him in the bath

coin operated boy
he may not be real experienced with girls
but i know he feels like a boy should feel
isnt that the point that is why i want a
coin operated boy
with his pretty coin operated voice
saying that he loves me that hes thinking of me
straight and to the point
that is why i want
a coin operated boy.


lyrics by -- Dresden Dolls

Things have Changed

A worried man with a worried mind
No one in front of me and nothing behind
There's a woman on my lap and she's drinking champagne
Got white skin, got assassin's eyes
I'm looking up into the sapphire tinted skies
I'm well dressed, waiting on the last train

Standing on the gallows with my head in a noose
Any minute now I'm expecting all hell to break loose

People are crazy and times are strange
I'm locked in tight, I'm out of range
I used to care, but things have changed

This place ain't doing me any good
I'm in the wrong town, I should be in Hollywood
Just for a second there I thought I saw something move
Gonna take dancing lessons do the jitterbug rag
Ain't no shortcuts, gonna dress in drag
Only a fool in here would think he's got anything to prove

Lot of water under the bridge, Lot of other stuff too
Don't get up gentlemen, I'm only passing through

People are crazy and times are strange
I'm locked in tight, I'm out of range
I used to care, but things have changed

I've been walking forty miles of bad road
If the bible is right, the world will explode
I've been trying to get as far away from myself as I can
Some things are too hot to touch
The human mind can only stand so much
You can't win with a losing hand

Feel like falling in love with the first woman I meet
Putting her in a wheel barrow and wheeling her down the street

People are crazy and times are strange
I'm locked in tight, I'm out of range
I used to care, but things have changed

I hurt easy, I just don't show it
You can hurt someone and not even know it
The next sixty seconds could be like an eternity
Gonna get low down, gonna fly high
All the truth in the world adds up to one big lie
I'm in love with a woman who don't even appeal to me

Mr. Jinx and Miss Lucy, they jumped in the lake
I'm not that eager to make a mistake

People are crazy and times are strange
I'm locked in tight, I'm out of range
I used to care, but things have changed


lyrics by --- Bob Dylan

bane of my existence

To say that something or someone is "the bane of my existence" means that the person or thing is a constant irritant or source of misery. As a cliché, "bane of my existence" has lost its edge to a large degree over the years, and today is most often applied to something that may profoundly annoy us but is certainly bearable... "Bane of my existence" is now almost always used in a semi-jocular, "what are you gonna do?" sense.

But "bane" was once a very serious word. The Old English "bana" meant literally "slayer" in the sense we now use "killer" or "murderer." Early on, the English "bane" was also used in the more general sense of "cause of death," and by the 14th century "bane" was used in the specialized sense of "poison," a sense which lives on in the names of various poisonous plants such as "henbane" and "wolfbane."

From this very literal "something that kills you" usage, "bane" by the 16th century had broadened into its modern meaning of "something that makes life unpleasant, a curse."

opposition

“Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.” --- Albert Einstein

wonder

“I would rather have a mind opened by wonder than one closed by belief” --- Gerry Spence

One Sierra Club Meeting

Over the last few years in Los Padres Forest, I have spotted over a dozen bobcats in the wild, plus 3 mountain lions. One which was in my own front yard. It was a kitten, but chances are mom was nearby. The other was a full grown cat that jumped out across the road out on Cerro Norroeste, at sundown, 5 miles west of Apache Saddle. The third was mid-day on Emigdio ridge, darting across a meadow.

Driving back roads often, plus hiking alone, means I see a lot more wildlife out there. The large cats are rarely seen by humans, but do exist in the rural areas like this. So when I heard the Sierra Club was putting on a presentation the big cats, I had to go find out more. It was a pleasant, low key Saturday evening in my small mountain community, and since there isn't much to do in this town, it was a perfect break from the home-improvement projects.

This outdoors group is quite different from the active Sierra Singles group I belonged to in San Diego. Our local Sierra chapter is made of primarily seniors citizens. I hadn't been to a Sierra Club meeting in ages, I thought I would attend this one since the topic was interested to me.

Little did I know my mere presence would cause such a disturbance. Pizza for dinner & interesting conversation with my friend led to us arriving late & it was a full house with only a few chairs left.

And of course, mister drama king was there with his fat old lady. The room was dark, hot & crowded. I never saw them or made eye contact, but took my seat & sat there watching the speaker. The deceiver had to make a scene. He stomped outta there like an angry jealous boy & his old woman soon followed.

I guess I caused quite a ruckus amongst the gossipy old bags at the Sierra Club, but then again I know who their fearless leader is. Or should I say fear-ful leader? Gun toting Sierra Club members unite!

absorb

“All paid jobs absorb and degrade the mind.” --- Aristotle

imprisoned

“You can chain me, you can torture me, you can even destroy this body, but you will never imprison my mind.” --- Mahatma Gandhi

discussed

"Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people." --- Eleanor Roosevelt

pansy

pan‧sy  [pan-zee]
–noun, plural -sies.
1. a violet, Viola tricolor hortensis, cultivated in many varieties, having richly and variously colored flowers.
2. the flower of this plant.
3. Slang (disparaging and offensive).
a. a male homosexual.
b. a weak, effeminate, and often cowardly man.

The Hell of Heaven

"The mind is its own place, and in itself, can make heaven of Hell, and a hell of Heaven." -- JOHN MILTON

sundown

"I only went out for a walk and finally concluded to stay out till sundown, for going out, I found, was really going in." --- John Muir

integrity

"Nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of your own mind."
--- RALPH WALDO EMERSON

Lisa

Lisa, My love

You are so inspiring ; )

without accepting

“It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.” --- Aristotle

Good to be a woman

1. We got off the Titanic first.
2. We can scare male bosses with the mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.
3 Taxis stop for us.
4. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
5. No fashion faux pas we make, could ever rival the Speedo.
6. We don't have to pass gas to amuse ourselves.
7. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
8. We can congratulate our teammate without ever touching her rear end.
9. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.
10. We have the ability to dress ourselves.
11. We can talk to the opposite sex without having to picture them naked
12. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we are aware that we will look like an idiot.
13 We will never regret piercing our ears
14. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.
15. We can make comments about how silly men are in their presence because they aren't listening anyway.

as well as

"A house is no home unless it contains food and fire for the mind as well as for the body."
--- MARGARET FULLER

Love & Dirt

Mmh, you're sticking to my finger
Mmh, you smell like used before
Mmh, your skin to me tastes rotten
Let me lick a little more

First time we walked the junkyard you
said the magic words, love should be
decorated with a little bit of dirt
More or less neglected from backbone
to the heart, it was more than I expected
and I knew it from the start

That you'd fit into my trash box
Mmh, a perfect place to be
Because I know how much that cash
sucks, I want you there for free



lyrics by -- de phazz

21st Century

All the creatures, on your beaches
Makin' waves in the motion picture
Put your kingfish, inbetween us
Search and seizure, weigh the ?

The dollar bill will
Return your ill will
Mom and dad take your don't be sad pill
Turn the screw and twist my leverage
Don't forsake me I'm contagious

There's a reason for the 21st Century
Not to sure but I know that's it's meant to be
You've met a friend to be

It's my favorite combination
Comin' down with the favor of nation
Twist the screw and twist my language
Don't forsake me I'm contagous
Oh, oh, oh, oh-oh
Just like you're Cain and Able
Oh, oh, oh, oh-oh
Gonna run your table

There's a reason for the 21st Century
Not to sure but I know that's it's meant to be
You know it's meant to be

Read me your scripture and
Read me your scripture
Read me your scripture and
I will twist it
Show me your wrist and I
Show me your wrist and
Show me your wrist and I
Kiss it kiss it
Oh, oh, oh, oh-oh
Like you're Cain and Able
Oh, oh, oh, oh-oh
We're gonna run this table

Simple Soldier, hand it over
Stop and read what you just told her
Just stop the ration , and mutilation
Of all the sex and good vibrations

There's a reason for the 21st Century
Not to sure but I know that's it's meant to be
You know it's meant to be yeah

There's a reason for the 21st Century
Not to sure but I know that's it's meant to be
You met a friend to be



lyrics by --- Red Hot Chili Pepppers

Hard 2 Concentrate

hustle, bustle and so much muscle awww
cells about to separate
and i find it hard to concentrate and

temporary this cash and carry
i'm stepping up to indicate
the time has come to deviate and

all i want is for you to be happy and
take this moment to make you my family and
finally you have found something perfect and
finally you have found

death defying this mess i'm buying
it's raining down with love and hate
and i find it hard to motivate and

estuary is blessed but scary your
heart's about to palpitate
and i'm not about to hesitate and

one to treasure the rest of your days here and
give you pleasure in so many ways dear and
finally you have found something perfect and
finally you have found......here we go

do you want me to show up for duty and
serve this woman and honor her beauty and
finally you have found something perfect and
finally you have found......yourself

with me....will you...agree...to take
this man...into your world
and now...we are as one

my lone ranger the heat exchanger
is living in this figure eight
and i'll do my best to recreate and

sweet precision and soft collision awww
hearts about to palpitate
and i find it hard to seperate and

all i want is for you to be happy and
take this woman and make you my family and
finally you have found someone perfect and
finally you have found...

all i want is for you to be happy and
take this woman and make you my family and
finally you have found someone perfect and
finally you have found...yourself


lyrics by ----- Red Hot Chili Peppers

C'mon Girl

Everything inside of me
Is burning up for you to see

And if we should get into it
A two way kind of syndicate, ho

Compare us to a ferris wheel
Just be sure of what you want to steal
Some people do it by the book
But I prefer to go by feel, tell me

I wanted to get outta here
But every time I reappear
And know I have the words my dear
To whisper right into your ear, hey, yeah

C'mon girl
Let's get it right
Let's get it right
Let's get it right

The spirit of a dragon's tear
Is lovely at this time of year

The cave within your mountainside
Is deeper than it will be wide hold me

My disenchanted diplomat
Asleep inside the laundromat
Conveyer belts are moving and
I want you to be sure of that, tell me

And if you let it germinate
I know it will be worth the wait
Disputed by the news that it was you
Who tried to instigate, hey

Blessed are the hypocrites
Outwitted but she never quits
The trouble with a band of slits
Is washing off all the muddy bits, hey... yeah

Oh yeah she's with me and I'm your man
If I can't find you no one can



lyrics by ---- Red Hot Chili Peppers

Kerning

The Kern River is the highest I've ever seen it (in the last 20 years). Lake Isabella is at max capacity. The italian restaurant near park in the Kernville is open late & superb. Vacations and road trips... I used to live for them, but now I am learning to stay put, enjoying a real home and working my magic. My final escape from the city.

Ahhhh, yes.... being back in my mountain home is
- a refreshing change from a busy weekend.
- so relaxing, I can actually here myself think.
- a warm welcoming home, exactly like I left it.
- heaven on earth, where I get to create my dreams daily.

Matters

if all this didn't matter much
if you thought nothing of me
if you cared not for me
or what I have to say...
then, you would NOT be reading this web log

you do still care, somewhat
altho you deny it everyday
your actions only prove so

perfectly delicious

"The air was perfectly delicious, sweet enough for the breath of angels. Every draught of it gave a separate and distinct piece of pleasure." --- John Muir

Nothing Good

One does evil enough when one does nothing good.
- German Proverb

Real Easy

If the going is real easy, beware, you may be headed down hill.

I Feel You

i feel you...
in every stone
in every leaf of every tree
you've ever grown

i feel you...
in every thing
in every river that might flow
in every seed you might have sown

i feel you...
in every vein
in every beating of my heart
each breath I take
[in every breath i'll ever take]

i feel you...
anyway...
in every tear that i might shed
in every word i've never said

i feel you...


lyrics by --- Shiller mit Hepbner - Leben

Ought

If you would live your life with ease; do what you ought, not what you please.

Mirror

Look in the mirror - of another's soul.

more said than done

After all is said and done, there is usually more said than done.

Destroy

We mustn't let our passions destroy our dreams.

Bless Them

Romans 12:14

Bless them which persecute you: bless, and curse not.

Scandals

And there's a lust in man no charm can tame, Of loudly publishing our neighbour's shame; On eagles' wings immortal scandals fly, While virtuous actions are but borne to die.

-- Decimus Junius Juvenal

Loud Voice

Irish Proverb: A loud voice can make even the truth sound foolish.

Greatness

An Irish Proverb: Great hate follows great love.

Heaven Has No

Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, Nor hell a fury like a woman scorned.

-- William Congreve

Rural Resort Dwellers

Segment 31:
Rural Resort Dwellers residents follow the scenic route. Favoring milder climates and pastoral settings, they live in rural nonfarm areas throughout the United States. These small, growing communities consist of single-family or mobile homes with a significant inventory of seasonal housing. With a median age of 46 years, the population is older than the U.S. median; most residents are married with no children living at home. Although retirement officially looms for many, most are still working. Many in Rural Resort Dwellers neighborhoods are self-employed with a median household income of $43,000. Simple living and consumer tastes describe the Rural Resort Dwellers residents. They own equipment so they can work on home and garden improvement projects. Domestic four-wheel drive trucks are popular. Their lifestyle includes baking and preparing home-cooked meals as well as participating in local civic issues. They read magazines that focus on fishing, hunting, and home improvement. They go hunting, listen to country music, and zoom around in power boats.

Spells

To break the spell...
Simply stop watching, stop reading, stop trying to not try.

To make me well...
Just please move away, go away, stop the obsession within.

Happy

Irish Proverb: All happy endings are beginnings as well.

Heaterz

It's cheaper to drive around (in my 30 mpg Saab), than it is to HEAT this house. No kiddin' Only dreaming now of winter escapes to the desert. Living outta my car in the winter would be so fun, a month at a time & get a hotel room occassionally.

Why is it that a weird girl like me, can plan a future that involves hi-tech & back roads all in the same breath? Hell-if-I-know(-why). Yep. I just wanna live like a retired senior with a motorhome (4x4 van), have a stable homebase office in the mountains, & cruise around documenting & delivering the West for all my Escapers. Ahhh.

Last night, eleven point 3 degrees. Boy oh boy. That is pretty cold for SoCal. No good boys here to keep me warm. One day I'll get a wood stove, one day I'll get a chainsaw & an axe, one day I'll fix my truck, get a dog, or a horse. I need my sun! One day soon I will be warm. Mod Resort here I come.

Hot Coals

Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.

-- Buddha

The Possibility

There is always a moment right before I begin to read the story when my mind churns, and I wonder, Will it happen today? I don’t know, for I never know beforehand, and deep down it really doesn’t matter. It’s the possibility that keeps me going, not the guarantee, a sort of wager on my part. And though you may call me a dreamer or fool or any other thing, I believe that anything is possible.

I realize the odds, and science, are against me. But science is not the total answer; this I know, this I have learned in my lifetime. And that leaves me with the belief that miracles, no matter how inexplicable or unbelievable, are real and can occur without regard to the natural order of things. So once again, just as I do every day, I begin to read the notebook aloud, so that she can hear it, in the hope that the miracle that has come to dominate my life will once again prevail.

And maybe, just maybe, it will.

Sitting in Pictures

"Maybe the idea of harmony. And the way a Hopi prays. A good life, a harmonious life, is a prayer. We don't just pray for ourselves, we pray for all things. We're famous for the Snake Dances, but a lot of people don't realize those ceremonies are prayers for rain and crops, prayers for life. We also pray for rain by sitting and thinking about rain. We sit and picture wet things like streams and clouds. It is sitting in pictures"

-- Fritz (the Hopi Indian college kid)
-- from the book BLUE HIGHWAYS, William Least Heat Moon

Bloodstain

They say if you took it all away
This love would fall apart
I say, no way
You don’t know the size of my heart.

Vicious, suspicious
It doesn’t matter what I say
Users and losers
There’s nothing here to make me stay.

Bloodstain on a blue vein
Take it with no shame
Love tracks on a loose train
Bloodstain

No gain with no pain
My scars are deeper than you think
Tie me, try me
One more time before I sink.

Big lies, big times
This love is not what we’re about
It’s too late, and I’m too straight
It’s time to blow this fire out.

Bloodstain on a blue vein
Take it with no shame
Love tracks on a loose train
Bloodstain on a blue vein

Take me softly
I’m going crazy for your touch.

Bloodstain on a blue vein
..blue....blood, blue....blood, blue...blood
Take it with no shame
..no...take, no...take, no...take

I’m alone
And dissatisfied
And someone else is alone
And dissatisfied



lyrics by -- Unkle

Too Hot to Trot

are you hot? good looking?
are you THAT good in bed?
do you still love him?
do you love him?
do you love him?

These are the questions that echo in my head this night. 11pm - a mason called me to talk about his dear brother & friend. He was asking me over & over again these same questions.

Damn you! This must be a trick.

How can I honestly answer him, when truthfulness is what got me in this mess to begin with. I spill out my heart in empty hope - only to be crucified & taken to court for my words. I formulate my jealousy & rage into poems, songs & emails. Nothing to gain. Only to release ... the bitter pain of rejection & heartbreak.

It has been one full year since I have stepped foot on his property. Years since we've kissed. Months since we've spoken. Never any physical violence, valid threats, or any weapons.... only the emotional ongoing turmoil between both of us. Now he's getting a restraining order against me, the 105 lb camp diva, cuz he can't stand seeing my hot lil ass around our small town.

Why did he have to move here? My life was nearly perfect until he showed up. Why him, why now?
Is he really hurting as much as me?

This has been the most difficult time of my life, all because I fell in love with the wrong man (my only stalker) & didn't have the time for him. I was too damn busy with my stupid little dot com dream.

Seeing him repeatedly in our small town makes me melt. Crying daily about my lost love is ridiculous, so I managed to pull myself together, re-landscape my backyard, triple my web traffic & of course, find another local man to screw.

No, I am no longer loving. I am simply fucking - again. Unconsciously existing. Trying to fight back the tears, as I am being embraced by another, I wonder what real manhood is all about. Over & over again I regret & I grieve. Trying my absolute hardest to forget, to let go, to get over him - I work my winter away in front of this box. Choosing another man these days, just to fill the void.

Needless to say, I am very bizarre chick. One who follows her passion by never following men. Obsessive - about life, about travel, about the outdoors, about our earth, about fun times with friends, about sex, about everything.

Yes, I am sorry that I couldn't have treated him better when he was here. Now, this subtle reminder is in my face daily -- for me to review with remorse, often, but not silently.

Hated

It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not.

---- Andre Gide

A Warrior's Choice

We choose only once. We choose either to be warriors or to be ordinary... A second choice does not exist. Not on this earth.

-- Carlos Castaneda

Blameless

The righteousness of the blameless makes a straight way for them, but the wicked are brought down by their own wickedness.

-- Proverbs 11:5

A Waste of Time

All blame is a waste of time. No matter how much fault you find with another, and regardless of how much you blame him, it will not change you.

-- Wayne Dyer

Make Them

People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don’t believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can’t find them, make them.

-- George Bernard Shaw

Reservoir

Providence is always on the side of the last reserve.

-- Napoleon Bonaparte

Moments

The chief cause of failure and unhappiness is trading what we want most for what we want at the moment.

The Hardest Way

It was so hard to see him this way - especially on Valentines Day. Bitter, nervous, angry & slightly emotional -- in front of the judge. I hid my compassion for him, along with my tears. I am not supposed to care - anymore.

Wanting to read a 2 page statement full of email examples, poison poems & specific incidences - of seeing me around our small mountain village, the judge would not hear it. His 6 friends were present, by his side, to speak their oh-so-rehearsed stories of my viciousness.

The court denied his day, his way.

They accepted the important evidence: Two 3-ring binders, filled with love poems, desperate emails & photos of my sexy body. A collection of 2 years worth of my thoughts & yearnings; my most private & personal data ever written. He claimed that I was obsessed with him, stalking & following him everywhere, although I have not set foot on his property in a year, nor have I followed him on his public hiking trails, nor have I parked next to his vehicle.

Maybe this small town isn't big enough for the both of us.
Perhaps the forests isn't large enough for the rest of us.

Drug-Induced Paranoia

We've all heard it before, the restlessness outside the door.
Must you put up such a fight, hopelessly, into the night.
I will walk the forest here, examining myself so near.
Will you live & learn & save, or force others to just behave?

It's obvious, Americans love their drugs. Prescriptions or otherwise.. it is a quiet epidemic. Escape from reality, from the every day grind, from life choices & the self-inflicted anxiety. Smoking weed can heighten your moods, temporarily & on a habitual regular basis, can deaden your senses.... even the most common senses. Side effects of the green, are short term memory loss, anxiety & paranoia. Smoking anything is very unhealthy to the lungs & as it seems marijuana has more tar than cigarettes & is usually smoked without filters, detrimental effects are seen in medical studies.

Rest

He who seeks rest finds boredom...
He who seeks work finds rest.

Poison Poems

A chronology of life, an assemblage of my inner most feelings, thoughts & desires have fallen to the wrong hands. A private journal of mine has been printed, read & re-read, analyzed & over-analyzed, talked over & re-hashed. Featuring much pain & spiteful poison poems, along with full color photos of my new bod.

Hmmm. Perhaps his holiday hug meant nothing after all. Do they not have anything else better to fill their time with? An obsession on their part & hatred within, has escalated into small town drama, bitter gossip & petty crap that only we will laugh about. But what else could I have expected from the low life's of the community?

___

of this year of last
resurfaced all my past
how little did I know
I'd love my only foe

behaviors now modified
taken all in one good stride
looking ahead to start anew
hike & hope not to see you

what is it that I've done so wrong
only wanting to not belong
my purpose is here you see
breaking the mold, skillfully

choosing to share, all that I care
loosing me now, ever to dare

you think you know me oh-so-well
simply I say - you can go to hell

Best Shot

Boys just wanna play
Why can't they stay away?
Selfish & all alone
Humbly, now a drone

At this box I sit & stare
Wondering why I still care
You beat me up &
then you pushed me down
Now I see, you're still around

Hiking the forest trails
Hearing loud my distant wales
I know not what I've done
Working hard, the only one

Trying to give it my best shot
Pathetic crying girl - I am not

Oceano

The best place to find a helping hand is at the end of your own arm.

Kinda I Want To

I can’t shake this feeling from my head.
There’s a devil sleeping in my bed.
He’s watching you from across the way.
I cannot make this feeling go away

I know it’s not the right thing.
And I know it’s not the good think.
But kinda I want to

I’m not sure of what I should do.
When everything I think of is you.
All of my excuses turn to lies.
Maybe God will cover up his eyes

I know it’s not the right thing.
And I know it’s not the good think.
But kinda I want to

Maybe just for tonight.
We can pretend it’s alright.
What’s the price I pay.
I don’t care what they say.
I want to.
I want to

I’ll take my chance tonight



lyrics by -- Nine Inch Nails

Forcing

Anger makes you smaller, while forgiveness forces you to grow beyond what you were. 

-- Cherie Carter-Scott

Aquarius, part 2

Aquarian Katy excitedly told her husband that she has concert tickets to Sisters of Mercy. His reply was "Who you taken?"

This past weekend I visited all my pals in San Diego & joined Katy at the House of Blues, where we walked Salvation Alley to see Sisters of Mercy. Next time they say standing room only, I'll make sure to splurge for the seats upstairs. Luckily I was able to exit the dance floor (in my borrowed platform boots) before the mosh pit started. Security put a quick stop to any violent fun & the silly adult boys were a little disappointed, but whaddya expect from a top-noch venue like that?

The Aquarius celebration ends today, the cusp -of the genius sign. We now move into a new realm of adventure, vivid lifelike dreams & special healing powers. Are you ready?

And today's horror-scope for Aquarius:
Your newfangled approach to things might be getting some serious flack from others today, dear Aquarius, but do not let this stop you. Realize that your independent and somewhat rebellious nature is a key ingredient in keeping the world in balance. Don't give up the fight when old and tired ways of doing things insist on taking the upper hand. Use your power from within to combat the forces from above.

Big Deal

You don't know what's wrong,
you only know it isn't right.
You don't remember for how long,
but you wake in tears at night.
Big deal.
Big deal.

You spend four nights a week now
looking for your inner child.
What you gonna say when you find him?
Suppose you don't like him
or he doesn't like you?
Suppose once you wake him up
he won't go back to bed
and wants to stay up late watching TV?

But you say there must be some reason
why you feel this way.
Big deal, that's the way we all feel.
Big deal, what is it you wanna feel?
Big deal, that's the way we all feel.
Big deal, what is it you wanna feel?

You say you wanna get cured,
you wanna turn off your head.
Oh and you say it hurts,
and you feel unsure.
First you doubt yourself and then you doubt her.

Big deal, that's the way we all feel.
Big deal, what is it you wanna feel?
Big deal, that's the way I feel.
Big deal, what she think she feels?

What is it you wanna feel?
I don't think you wanna feel


lyrics by -- Everything but the Girl

Growth

A hard-on doesn't count as personal growth.

Beyond

"The future is beyond knowing, but the present is beyond belief."

-- William Irwin Thompson

Example

If you can't be a good example - then you'll just have to be a horrible warning.

-- Catherine Aird

Dominion

In the heat of the night
In the heat of the day
When I close my eyes
When I look your way
When I meet the fear that lies inside
When I hear you say
In the heat of the moment
Say, say, say

Some day, some day, some day, dominion
Come a time
Some day, some day, some day, dominion
Some say prayers
Some say prayers
I say mine

In the light of the fact
On the lone and level
Sand stretch far away
In the heat of the action
In the settled dust
Hold hold and say
In the meeting of mined
Down in the streets of shame
In the betting of names on gold to rust
In the land of the blind
Be...king, king, king, king

Some day, some day, some day, dominion
Come a time
Some day, some day, some day, dominion
Some say prayers
Some say prayers
I say mine



lyrics by - Sisters of Mercy

Perspective

1: a way of regarding situations or topics etc.
2: the appearance of things relative to one another as determined by their distance from the viewer

The Fool

i've wronged you & you've wronged me
this could go on here...
indefinitely

cleaning the slate & starting anew
would you give it a break
learning not to accrue

wanting my space, to grow my own soul
you pushed & your prodded
i'll say it's getting old

i needed to be me, just let me work
but you had to move in
and be such a jerk

demanding, scolding, & being so cool
expecting too much here
now we both play the fool

Relinquish

Relinquishing control is the ultimate challenge for the Spiritual Warrior.

Saintly Sins

Tomorrow morning will determine how I will view 'falling in love' - for the rest of my life. No more fairy tale bull shit. No more poems, original songs or promises to believe. Tomorrow is Valentine's Day & while most couples are lined up to get married, I will be standing solo, as usual, defending my place in the forest. On this special day for romance, I will be present at the Kern Courthouse to hear my former lover, tell the world just how much he hates me. My crime - loving too much.

Mind you, this is the goofy Freemason boy, who signed up on consecutive Total Escape Adventures & knew more about me than any customer ever had. He dated my San Diego neighbor for months, bought the same kind of vehicle as mine (Amigo) & as soon as I move to Los Padres, he follows me up here to buy a home too. Pursuing me to win my hardened heart, dazzle my days & then rip me to shreds.

This poor boy knows no work ethic or self discipline. He chooses to live among small minded folks, who he can easily impress & who ask nothing of him. He would like to control MY every move (as the submissive female) - including what time I can visit the post office, local cafe, even which trails or roads I can be on. We live in a 2 mile radius, in the middle of nowhere. Deal with it!

You will see me - almost daily, in your life, cuz you moved here - near me
..... And if this haunts you, seek professional therapy, soon.

In the many stories of Saint Valentine, he was always known as a martyr. So, if DanaMite is found dead in the forest with a bullet hole in her head, you all know who finally lost it.

Genevieve

I have been driving back roads for over 2 decades... camping, hiking, biking, exploring. Matter of fact, I love it so much, I created a web site because of my love for nature. My truest passion, vision with technology working on my side, I have built a very popular California site to aid travelers who seek off the beaten path.

Nothing can slow you down better than a good foot injury. Just as my life was getting off the ground, as a new home owner & growing dot com biz, I managed to push myself a little too damn far. As usual.

In mid summer 2004, a drinking glass broke & the heaviest shard fell on top of my right foot. Seemed like a minor scrape to me, a bad bruise perhaps, so I iced it for 3 days. Then, I took off to Mammoth for the July 4th weekend. How bad could it really be - this was a luxurious condo trip, after all?

A small group of us climbed up the north side of Laurel Lakes - over to Lake Genevieve, a 10,000' alpine elevation lake in the high Sierra. Afterwards, I took Advil & continued to ice it hourly. I was leading another group, in the Sonora Pass the following weekend, & wasn't planning on missing it. I took it easy & researched some big creek near Bridgeport. Nine days after my initial injury, I literally limped home to Los Padres.

The following month, I was off to the Santa Cruz Redwoods for Firedance.org festival, where Total Escape had a merchant booth. Needless to say, these silly decisions to stay on my foot cost me dearly.

X-rays determined no broken bones, but I had nearly severed a major tendon. I spent the next few months on crutches with a very long winter ahead. With one awfully tired foot, I forced myself to stay put for one full season & work on the computer.

Managing to loose excess weight with better diet & yoga, Springtime was looking better than ever. Summer came not soon enough, but brought with it major landscaping & much physical labor. The abused foot was not healing properly. My arch was falling & I still had swelling. Back to the doctor for a fourth visit. Finally after a 6 months wearing custom orthodics/insoles, I can feel the healing curve is starting to progress.

No way... Nature girl cannot get cabin fever! I moved here to enjoy the forest, to re-create my life. Staring at a computer for too many hours can really bug me out, so I must spend time outside - daily. I will hike in the moonlit meadow; Stroll thru the warm forest with a solo picnic lunch; Drive the curvy mountains roads, watching the sunsets, as I please. This active outdoor babe has tripled her business, built a 100' long retaining wall & lost 20% of her body weight - all in the last year.

Now, after many of my hardest months behind me, I am healing my foot back to normal. Short hikes often, on level ground, has helped me recover in a slow but steady progress. The flattest trails in the forest, the old lady hikes, are now my favorite strolls. Places I would normally shy away from, I seek as refuge. Next, I plan to increase my canyon hikes, plus get back to mountain biking - to give my ass the real workout it deserves, along with much needed cardiovascular exercise. My lessons are long, my travels many. Slowly, but surely, I am healing.

On My Knees

It's 9pm on a Saturday night & I'm waiting for a boy to show up. A man, testosterone, male, anything, soon. He usually shows up sooner or later. Sometimes not for months, but eventually - he comes around. The wait is getting longer. The selection slimmer. The real ones fewer.

Three years ago this very month, I made a clear, concise decision to remove myself from normal everyday society. Urban, city - as I knew it. Eagerly I ran away to a mountain hide-out, so I could continue to build my business, my ever-expanding self, plus (the real reason) to be able to afford buy a house in SoCal.

Staying busy on a Saturday night in downtown San Diego was never a problem. Always a place to spend your cash. Always friends to have with laughs. I've done my decade of traveling, I just wanna stay put now. Yeah, now that I have a home. Relax, work, play. It's all about the discipline. The slowing of rural living, enjoying nature more often & having minimal distractions brought this dot com chica to her knees - literally.

Natural Light

I wanna let it get the best of me
Gotta give it all, cuz I believe
You'll only see me in natural light
Never hear me pickin' a fight

It's all a silly lil stupid game
Love still matters, all the same
Bitter hating, it's not for me
Cuz I just want real-ity

Narrow minds can go away,
Or do you really wanna stay?
Negative energy is all it is
Concentrate on your own biz

Stop fooling around and being a jerk
Your picked it here with all the quirks
Examine the self; then look at me
One day you'll see me - naturally

Blazing Trails

"Do not go where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail."

-- Emerson

Baffled by Life

I suspected that this man embraced one crisis after another because they gave him significance, something like tragic stature. He had so lost belief in a world outside of himself, without crisis, he had nothing worth talking about. On and on, the tolling of words revealed his expertise in living a life that baffled him.

-- from the book BLUE HIGHWAYS, William Least Heat Moon

Remake

"As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world... as in being able to remake ourselves."

-- Mahatma Gandhi

Stress Less

"It takes as much stress to be a success as it does to be a failure."

-- Emilio James Trujillo

Love what you do

"Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful."

-- Herman Cain

Foolish Hell

You are a dark soul. You mimic your peers, as you have no real identity. You betray me & everything pure we had. You ignore truth & light. You choose this path with these fools. I will let you go now. You've disappointed me for the last time. Go down with them! Go down to their hell, with their bad decisions & pathetic lives. Please don't ever say I didn't try hard enough. My persistence with my love has run it's course. In due time, you will come to realize what a horrible decision you have made. They will surely take you down with them. Be satisfied with the hell you've created.

Condemnation

Condemnation
Tried
Here on the stand
With the book in my hand
And truth on my side

Accusations
Lies
Hand me my sentence
I’ll show no repentance
I’ll suffer with pride

If for honesty
You want apologies
I don’t sympathize
If for kindness
You substitute blindness
Please open your eyes

Condemnation
Why
Because my duty
Was always to beauty
And that was my crime

Feel elation
High
To know I can trust this
Fix of injustice
Time after time

If you see purity
As immaturity
Well it’s no surprise
If for kindness
You substitute blindness
Please open your eyes



lyrics by - Depeche Mode

Warrior King Inside

So my Warrior King led me to techniques that helped me clear, clear, clear all the stuck and suppressed energy. And then as a validation, I met a man who mirrored to me -- my new self. We had a short, but very interesting relationship. In our relationship he expressed the male aspect - initiating our time together, making the plans, providing a safe environment for us to explore each other.

For the first time in my life, I surrendered and allowed a man to take the lead. He told me what he wanted and what he thought about things. I told him how I felt about what he said and wanted. And he respected my feelings. He made the necessary corrections to allow me to continue to feel safe and cherished.

As I reflected upon our relationship, I noticed the difference between this and all my past relationships. I acknowledged to myself how much I enjoyed expressing feminine energy in this relationship. And as I did this, I saw my inner female stand up and take notice. She came out of the fetal position in the back of the cave and stood in the sunlight. She basked in the energy of my appreciation of my femininity.

And as she absorbed this appreciation, she began to transform. She started growing up from a girl, through adolescence, through puberty, into a mature woman. And as she transformed, my inner male stood by and watched in fascination and growing excitement. Yes, yes, this is what he had been waiting for.

She grew into a beautiful woman and stood to face the Warrior King.

interesting reads by Suzanna Kennedy, http://www.realitycrafting.com

Charms

Tarot Cards, Viking Runes, Astrology, Prayer Beads, Jewels, Daily Yoga, Chanting & Mediation, Friends, Adventures. My interest are vast, my travels too few. My soul cries for a bitter one.

My reality has shifted. I live my life in the forest amongst blue birds, bunnies & eager mountain men. Discipline and positive energy flow are challenges faced daily in my small alpine village. The balance between my cyber world & real nature, just outside my door is very odd, but refreshing. And healing.

Oracles of truth & guidance are helping me uncover & release the person I am. Intuitive insight is an ever changing tool within myself, to help me along with difficulties in all areas of life. While growing on all levels, this past decade has been a dream come true. Raised a good lil Lutheran southern belle, my Bible versus were memorized, but my spirit & passion belonged to the earth. Pagan at heart? I doubt it, but I may find something soon enough. Not that I am shopping for a religion or anything, but it's sure fun to start the exploring down a new path. Kayaking the Kern this Spring, anyone?

Cannot believe it took so damn long for me to get here. My new home, my enchanted forest, my own canyon, my mountains. Pure heaven - with a little bit of hell. I feel like fresh jello. The mold has been lifted.

Yep - I even read more horoscopes on a daily basis, just for fun & convenience sake. They are so ironic & entertaining sometimes!

Barrel of a Gun

Do you mean this horny creep
Set upon weary feet
Who looks in need of sleep
That doesn’t come
This twisted, tortured mess
This bed of sinfulness
Who’s longing for some rest
And feeling numb

What do you expect of me
What is it you want?
Whatever you’ve planned for me
I’m not the one

A vicious appetite
Visits me each night
And won’t be satisfied
Won’t be denied
An unbearable pain
A beating in my brain
That leaves the mark of cain
Right here inside

What am I supposed to do?
When everything that I’ve done
Is leading me to conclude
I’m not the one

Whatever I’ve done
I’ve been staring down the barrel of a gun

Is there something you need from me?
Are you having your fun?
I never agreed to be
Your holy one

Whatever I’ve done
I’ve been staring down the barrel of a gun



lyrics by - Depeche Mode

My Story, page 1

On my 40th birthday, I type to you, my fans, my Escapers. To tell my stories of adventure & my tales of woe. I am DanaMite, founder Total Escape. The web site, the store, the trips, the vehicles, the land, the people. Total Escape, the vision.

Created in 1996 as a web resource for California, I compiled thousands of destination pages & digital photographs of anything outdoors. Anything California, anything camping, anything I could think of. Pouring out my knowledge of back roads & rural hide-always to you, my web buddies, my nature seekers, I realize that I do indeed love my job. Following my passions & blending adventurous strangers & friends, plus local travels, puts me on the map as a fun loving outdoors professional.

Last week we celebrated with a huge Aquarius-A-Go-Go party with 10 birthdays, at DanaMite's home. Escapers from all over SoCal & some local neighbor folks joined the festivities.

Today, this is my big four-ohhh! Wow, another decade has past. Some women are terrified to reach this age, as they see it all down hill from here. Hog wash I say. I am physically fit, attractive, never married, no kids, running my own successful dot com from my mountain paradise, living in a beautiful forest in a small cabin community in SoCal, with tons of cool neighbors (& a handful of freaks), plus I am driving a new Saabaru. After high school, I left Louisiana to discover myself & talents in California. I worked my ass off through junior colleges, art center, a 3D animation career & now I am 10 years into this web profession. Life is pretty good to me & all I wanna do is share it!

I was pretty excited about a 40th birthday, as I have accomplished a fair amount & very proud of who I am. But as happy as my life seems, there is always an undercurrent of unrest, uneasiness & negativity. Yes, there are people who love to hate & that usually means difficulties, dramas & disenchantment. Yes, someone is ruining my little mountain paradise, on purpose. And Miss Mite is getting very, very annoyed. A disturbed ex-lover who's trying to control my whereabouts, my life & my fun is now seeking court orders against me, the 105 lb camp diva. No guns, no dogs, no live-in boyfriend. Why do I pose a threat to him? (What, with my poetry?)

Remember now folks, he followed me up to Pine Mountain - 3 long years ago. He shows a darkness like I have never seen.

I am here to tell my story.
Stay tuned. There is definitely more to come.

Born of Frustration

All this frustration
I can’t meet all my desires
Strange conversation
Self-control has just expired
All an illusion
Only in my head you don’t exist
Who are you fooling
Don’t need a shrink but an exorcist

Show me the movie
Of who you are and where you’re from
Born of frustration
Caught up in the webs you’ve spun
Where’s the confusion
A vision of what life is like
Show me the movie
That doesn’t deal in black and white

Stop stop talking about who’s to blame
When all that counts is how to change

All this frustration
All this frustration
Who put round eyes on a butterfly’s wings
All this frustration
All this frustration
Who gave the leopards spots and taught the birds to sing

Born of frustration
Born of frustration

I’m living in the weirdest dream
Where nothing is the way it seems
Where no one’s who they need to be
Where nothing seems that real to me
What can we build our lives upon
No wall of stone, no solid ground
The world is spinning endlessly
We’re clinging to our own beliefs

Born of frustration
Born of frustration


lyrics - by James