Sunday, October 07, 2007

Can MySpace save your Marriage?

Did you marry the wrong man? Did you walk to the alter for the sake of ego? Or perhaps you just got knocked up by a local red neck?

If you are twenty something, addicted to social networks & your new marriage is already on the rocks, do you actually think that posting your deepest thoughts, poems or songs online for you man to see is the way to win him back? Do you really even NEED him back?

Maybe making him jealous by racking up the lusty male friends will force him to behave. Doubtful. Possibly recording your very own YouTube video to air worldwide on how much his love means to you would help. Uncertain gamble.

Communication (or lack thereof) in this day in cyber-age perplexes me. The more in touch with our electronics we become, the less we learn how to talk, or how to listen. Detachment is the norm. People cannot even speak to one another honestly - anymore. Friends are mere icons of color that disappear when something wrong is said, or someone else feels threatened. It's all about superficial bull shit now, with all the glam imagery, sparkly icons, loud music blaring, sexy comment tags, cute personality quizes, ratings & hatings, bouncing baby photos, etc.

Making yourself look good or happy online is easy. Actually being or becoming happy is something completely different. Being married doesn't make you good or happy either. And becoming good doesn't have a damn thing to do with going to church every Sunday. When a marriage is based on continual lies, drug or alcohol abuse, self destructive or selfish behaviors, financial dependency or desperation.... things are bound to fall apart sooner or later.

People tend to marry young, before they really even know themselves, much less their partner. When you grow, you change, becoming a different, behaving different, eating more, drinking more, evolving (or regressing) -- it kinda throws the other person off. That's not who I married they scream!

Instead of surfing the web, throwing back another beer, ignoring your partner or watching another movie on television, make a conscious effort to repair your relationship. Seek professional therapy if you really wanna learn to communicate better with your partner. Uncover all the drama, all the expectations, the cheating, the dishonesty AND THE REASONS. If you married for the sake of a child (which is in the majority) you owe it to your family to be honest about everything - yourself, your needs, your expectations & your desires.

41 & still single - means I am in the minority of most adults & the social stigma is heavy. Lesbian? Selfish? Slut? Who cares! I come from a big Southern family where both parents have been married 4 times each & the majority of my aunts & uncles are divorced too, so marriage has never been the ultimate goal in life for me (like with most women). And since child-bearing has never crossed my mind, it means I have the free will to choose my own lifestyle & my preferred partner, if I so desire.

Here's some fun statistics.

Number of single parents in the United States -
Males: 2.04 million
Females: 9.68 million

25% of adults have had at least one divorce during their lifetime.
11% of the adult population is currently divorced.
24% of U.S. population has never married.