The Sum

the sum of the year
is precious my dear
for it holds the collection
of your own reflection

tis the only season
for my timely reason
sharing, caring & loving aloud
walking so tall & very proud

do not be a lazy jerk
the sum of your work
is measured with love
efforts, hardships, everything from above

Hugs Everyone

He hugged me today. He was tall, firm & warm. Finally he touched me.

I am sure he was speaking to me, but I lost myself deep in his blue wells. They shown so bright, as he spoke & waved his arms about. Like mirrors to his soul, I see his every move. I had a hard time keeping my focus on the topics at hand, since I was amazed that he was even talking with me. I was mesmerized by his strength and boldness. Making stern points and demands, he was standing above me, gazing into my eyes with a smirk on his face. He was studying me, as I have done to him. Convincing me that he still does (not) care. It was hard to take him seriously, since he was telling me about his cool vehicle in one breath and scolding me with the other.

Thank goodness for small miracles!

(and the rest is history)

Dream of You

i've been here all the time
as far as i know doing right

i've always waited for the moment
that you would come through my door
but this brought loneliness so far

i lay my hand onto my heart
is this the life i want to live?
is this the dream i had of you?

the dream i had of you

now i'm standing here alone
waiting on my own
for something that will fill the emptiness
inside the moment that you mind

but this is loneliness i know
i lay my hand onto my soul
is this what life has got to give?
is this the dream i had of you?

the dream i had of you..


lyrics by - schiller mit heppner

Dry Lakebeds

This past holiday weekend was spent with my best friend, exploring the depths of Death Valley National Park. Sailing across a smooth dry lake bed with an all wheel drive vehicle was a blast. After a few donuts in the dirt, we hopped out for poser photos with the Saabaru.

Driving on hard mud puzzle piece chunks, a bit cushy & crunchy. Yeah! The white Surburban is leaving the deserted lake bed. Cool! Lemme start from way back here.

How fast can I go? Just like the commercials, I was eager to feel the car in action. How long is this stretch of dry lake bed? Can I reach 100 mph? Is that safe? What if I hit a rock? Where does the white stuff end? Are the vents closed?

Well, I only managed to reach 70 mph & that was fast enough. Then we headed over to the dunes. This is when I realized just how low my car is. Getting stuck? After a few close calls while doing turns at the base of the dunes ... sinking as I floored the excellerator & straightened the wheels to escape, we decided to call it a night & watch the mellow sunset near a creek.

bridges

Me - burning bridges? Which bridges are those?

The ones that link me to the darker side?
The bridge to hate, anger & betrayal. The bridge that sets me apart from you. Or the one that connects us all in so many ways. What bridge am I burning & why?
The bridge to you & your mean spirited friends. The bridge across the anger that flows from you so well. The gap between us is growing ever wider.

Your heart is filled with bitterness.
We do not know how to swim.

Merry Jane

It's a comfort zone, sadness.
Makes you look inside.

It's a mellow zone, madness.
Keeps me more alive.

Call it enlightenment,
Call it a buzz.
Addiction is clear,
Sent from above.

Heaven or hell, make it my own spell.
Creating my reality & knowing it well.

Give it your best.
Put your knees to the ground.
You'll get off this merry-go-round.

Make it enlightning, make it profound.
You may only get one go 'round.

Heaven or hell, with my hard sell.
Creating my mind & wearing it well.

Begin with Sin

the reasons that you hate
are unclear my dear
the past stories you debate
are hearsay my peer

the rumors created
the gossip elated
opinions made up
from false data
then mated

manipulations have gone awry
spawning it all, the vicious lie
unveiling hidden motives
no one will ever notice

except me

I gotta sleep with him
although it's brought thru sin
I will never ever begin to win
such an alluring soul like him

It's my only hope you see
to bring the truth to be
find the gem within
to forgive & then begin

It's my only hope you see
what more can I be

except me

Power of Lies

A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes - Mark Twain

Show Me

You're a musician or maybe a poet, silly girl and you'll never know it.
If you only came up here to get yourself high, then you must be preaching some kinda lie.
Follow the lows as low as they go, find the answers where ever they show.
Come with me baby. I'll show you the day. Come on now baby, I'll lead you my way.

Live the Lie

What sorrow must she weep
To know my only creep.

What bitterness entails,
Above my lonely wales.

My words are poison to thy ears,
Creating now my deepest fears.

How vulnerable am I
To live such this silly lie.

Empty

Another year has past, leaving me empty & forsaken.
As I design my beautiful life to be, I wait for only thee.

Roam the Forest

In the forest I will roam, until I bring my lover home.
In the forest I will weep. Patiently his heart I keep.

In the loving eyes of blue,
What the hell became of you?

Distance has no effect, emotions high & still a wreck.

A Blast

Who hated me first, you or them?
Who lead who astray, easily willing to betray.

Who liked me once, who loved me more?
Now I can see me begging for more.

Whose love will last, forgetting the past
All I need is to have a blast!

The Bell

Can you ring the bell to my only hell?
Can you make me wait beyond predestined fate?

Will you make me better?
Or just let me learn to hate?

Blanket

Music is my sanctuary
Music is my blanket

Emotionless the city lies
Cruel it is, it clouds my eyes
The dull the dark shades on my day
I live inside this place

Locked up inside my metal cage
Always tense and filled with rage
Above the concrete fields below
With you i wanna go, wanna go

Music is my sanctuary
Music is my blanket

I see only what i wanna see
I'll be only what i wanna be
My blanket covers me, yes


lyrics by - Urban Species

Spreading

Spreading your seed, your art, your love - one woman at a time.

Love = Spirit

Love:
The will to extend one's self for the purpose of nuturing anothers' spritual growth.

Blaze

Take this energy & turn it into song
For eager souls wish to belong

Test the waters of your own emotions
Starting inside a little commotion

Within your heart & often your head
The pain & suffering are nearly dead.

Blaze me again, to really check in.
My reality, the hardest it's been.

Wasted Early Sunday

You're not the sun, It's just a light,
Waking early sunday morning,
You're not my church,
It's just the bells,
Ringing sweetly through the house,

And in this sense of mine,
You're not this prayer.
You're still in reach,
I please myself,
Wasting early sunday morning

You're not my lead,
You're just my help,
Talk the edge off sheer denial
And in this state of mine
You're what I want,
Nothing close to what I need
I breathe you in
Suit yourself, lose myself

Breaking early sunday morning
You're not the sun
You're not my church,
I still hold some self-control,
But in this sense of mine
I'm still too high, look no hands
I breathe you in


lyrics by - The Sneaker Pimps

All I Need

All I need is a little time,
To get behind this sun and cast my weight,
All I need is a peace of this mind,
Then I can celebrate.

All in all there's something to give,
All in all there's something to do,
All in all there's something to live,
With you ...

All I need is a little sign,
To get behind this sun and cast this weight of mine,
All I need is the place to find,
And there I'll celebrate.

All in all there's something to give



lyrics by - AIR

charming business

Regarding these accusations, I stand by my actions. I guess there are two sides to every story. I will say, I am very sorry I got romantically involved with you, as we should have known better. In the emptiness after her and I split, you were such a powerful woman, I couldn’t resist your charms. Mostly it was your sharp mind, sexuality and business savvy.

a bad idea

Actually, please do not send me her address. I would have liked to exchange letters with her and see why she's still in tears over our relationship, but after the morning's walk, I now think it's a bad idea.

filled with hate

But 'tis not me that's filled with hate, only firm resolution to keep my boundaries clear.

unfounded

Are you saying you refuse to tell me why you won't leave me alone to live my life?
Are you looking for justice? Do want to be in court about something? What are you looking for?

I have reviewed our history and found that it takes two to tango, there were good and bad things about it. Many of your accusations are unfounded. What can I do to end this and have you release me?

Your Way

Go on and have your life.
I will assume you will do me that honor, at least.

opinions

My opinion and situation about you and your business has indeed changed, unfortunately, much for the worse. It also appears many of my words have been edited or re-written in the article, twisting the meaning, yet revealing your hidden motives.

healthier

Thank you for the friendship we have shared in the past.

I hope you are able to come to terms with your inappropriate conduct and move on to a healthier state of being.

boundaries

We live in a small community, making it even more important that we respect each others boundaries - I am asking you to please respect mine.

pain to me

You have also been spreading gossip, causing pain to me and others. Please refrain from making what you imagine is going on in my private life a topic of your discussions.

disturbed

I am not comfortable with continuing our friendship.
I am deeply disturbed...

Kingdom

Let it go and you will be accepted into the kingdom of happiness.

careful

Aquarius: More than likely you have an opinion about everything, dear Aquarius, and it is also quite likely that you have a solution to everything as well. Today's events are likely to put you to the test. How well can you stand up to the tension that is likely to ensue when two extremely powerful and explosive forces butt heads square on? You can do it, but be extra careful regarding whom you cross today.

Time will Heal

Yes, I am good in many ways for you, yes, we had wonderful times together, yes, we share some interests. But, our goals, lifestyles, and ideas of how to live are different. I respect you for what you are doing with your life, you respect me for my work and lifestyle, together we can respect each other, recognize the immense forces that are each of our personalities, and let them be separate. Time will heal all, have faith!

strong women?

I know it’s really hard to budget in money for therapy – but I feel it’s been one of my best investments in myself. And you girl: hang in there, I can feel you are in a really rough place right now, but if I can pull up and not crash and burn I know you can too – we are strong strong women!